I return with Day 2 of my hospital attachment. Because I think writing a report about it will be good. The Prof/The Good Doctor says that it'll help in my Med School interview. I didn't mention that I'm most probably not taking the Med School interview because Australian universities require you to apply for Med/Dentistry by July, and my Mid Term results suck, AND I'm sitting for my SATs in about 2 weekends, so... Anyway, I think it'll be great to write a report for myself, it MAY help with my college application essay(s), so you never know!

So this morning, I arrived ridiculously early, since I followed Mum. I waited outside the Pharmacy for a while, pretending to be someone waiting for the Pharmacy open (PS. KACHE! Best times to avoid traffic at the Pharmacy: When you go for checkups, ie. ridiculously early in the morning, or around 3pm/4pm. YOU COULD TOTALLY DRIVE THERE NEXT TIME). Then at about 730am, messaged The Prof and received instructions as to where I should go... which was the Clinical Trials office thingy on the 2nd floor above the Pharmacy.

The Prof was dealing with some paperwork, so I indulged myself in daydreaming a little bit, then we went off to a conference room somewhere in the hospital for a Radiology/Paediatric Oncology Department(s) Conference. I swear, I thought some of the people there were med students. They were all professors. I think.

Anyway, the Conference is a weekly thing, when doctors from the 2 departments review scans of patients and get input from the Radiology Department as to what the results are like and stuff like that. According to my scribbles in my notebook, the doctor who was reading the patient summary should not have mumbled, and should have spoken with a clearer voice. Oh, me. So attached to English. xD

SO, the first patient reviewed had a pretty morbid condition - he has lymphoma, and then he has/had lesions in the liver, kidney AND spleen. OH, and gallbladder polyps. And the lesions on the kidney? All the way through to the adrenal gland. And his polyp biopsy cultures came back positive for TB.

Where's the Salk vaccine when you need it?

So then the poor boy has had I don't know what. Basically, poor guy.

Then there are lung CTs, brain CTs (Patient presented with tumour along the cerebellum, pretty big, and had Burr holes), MRIs, and you can actually see the shape of the bones of the spine as we reviewed the scans.

The Conference, though only about an hour long, was really, really cool.

After that, The Prof dropped me off at Paeds 4 to follow a Houseman/House Officer around. To make things simpler the ladder is - Medical Student, Houseman/House Officer, Medical Officer (MO), then Professor/Consultant. Basically, the Housemen do the rounds in the wards first, then the MOs would join in.

So Paed 4 had about 18 rooms or so, with about... 23? patients? There were 3 cots at the end. Anyway, Paed 4 is for the Paediatric Gastroenterology department. The Houseman was good, and nice. In fact, the MOs were awesome too. There are 2 housemen and 3 MOs. At least, when I was there in the morning. One of the MOs looked like my Bio lecturer. When the Houseman I was supposed to follow around had to discharge a patient/deal with boring appointment paperwork, the other Houseman suggested that I follow him to draw blood from a baby.

Poor baby. Her veins were all poked at. Well, okay, not all, but bad enough. And the Houseman tried drawing blood twice, but no blood, so he had to call an MO (Housemen are only allowed 2 tries on a baby, then they have to call a more senior doctor. But of course, there are some who'll be all Jesus-complex and whatnot and keep poking a poor baby. Anyway, this Houseman was good). The MO also needed 2 tries, but her 2nd one, at least, got a better flow of blood. Along the way, I discovered that the MO used to study in SAM too, hee. And she asked me, "SO, WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE A DOCTOR? AND DON'T SAY 'BECAUSE YOU WANT TO HELP PEOPLE' BECAUSE THAT'S A LIE" HAHAHA. Then the Houseman was like, "Aiyoh, even I still don't know the answer," so I went with the conventional, "Oh, haha, I DON'T KNOW" omitting the fact that... I'm not good enough to be a doctor.

CONTINUING ON, went back to meet up with The Prof, and had lunch, then rushed off for an Oncology Department meeting. Prof Hani was there. When I was a kid, I used to think that Prof Hani was Prof Honey, a Chinese, since she's VERY fair. Anyway, there was Prof Hani and a Prof? Dr? Chong? (No idea what her name is), some other professors, my Prof's MO, Dr Hannah and Prof?Dr? Vivek, the Orthopedic surgeon.

The Prof first warned me, "Oh, this may be a bit boring - we're only reviewing patients and stuff, so not much". Well, she doesn't know that I generally like what people think are boring, so... hahaha.

In the beginning, The Prof was like, "OH, I ALMOST FORGOT. EVERYONE, THIS IS S'L. She wants to be a medical student, so she's following me for the week" Dr Chong giggled, "HEE HEE, YOUR SHADOW"

Anyway, IT WAS HILARIOUS. The meeting, yes, may have been boring at moments of "Patient's name - stage of chemo", but I tell you, those doctors. Are FUNNY. The Orthopedic surgeon was there on a consult as to whether his patient should continue chemo after a major surgery, as he's already responding well, so then they were talking about the patient. HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY, I TELL YOU. Here's a paraphrasing.

DR VIVEK enters. PROFESSORS welcome him in. They continue with the meeting.
THE PROF: Oh, Vivek, you wanted to review your patient?
DR VIVEK: Oh, yeah!

Medical terms, blah, blah, basically the patient had a tumour in the bladder or the bones or whatever, and the cancer metastasized (Sorry, Bio terms) to the bones in his lower body (Guy's 21), and another surgeon had told Dr Vivek to do a lower half AMPUTATION, and...

DR VIVEK: And I was like, "WHAT? NO WAY I'M GOING TO DO A LOWER HALF AMPUTATION ON A 21 YEAR OLD"

OTHER PROFESSORS look rather shocked

DR VIVEK: And the patient actually agreed! Anyway, after reviewing the stuff, I decided that the guy could have a pelvic replacement, since his lower half is PERFECTLY FINE. We'll just remove the masses, the pelvis, genitilia and bladder, and reconstruct.
SOME DOCTOR, I DON'T KNOW WHO: Genitilia? How's he going to excrete?
DR VIVEK: Aiyah, we're removing his bladder as well, he'll be in a bag anyway
THE PROF: His sexual health isn't as important as his life, so...
DR VIVEK: So, yalah, give him a new pelvis
THE PROF: What kind of new pelvis ah? Those plasticky ones ah?
DR VIVEK: Oh, no, I ordered something from China. Metal pelvis
THE PROF: METAL?!
DR CHONG: So, you took an MRI of the guy's pelvis then they mould one of the exact shape ah?
SOME DOCTOR IN THE ROOM: No lah. Comes in Small, Large or Medium. MASS PRODUCED.
DR VIVEK: It's like a puzzle lah! Just assemble the pieces and stuff along the way.
THE PROF: IMAGINE HOW HEAVY HE'LL BE WITH THE METAL HIP

DOCTORS LAUGH.

THE PROF: And when he plays football or whatever, and starts butting people with his hip - HE won't be injured, his opponents will

MORE LAUGHS. Among the commotion...

PROF HANI: *Still laughing* Does it come with a ASSEMBLY MANUAL?

DR CHONG is still laughing her head off.

DR VIVEK: Aiyah, orthopedic surgery - is almost always experimental lah. We always cut the patient open, see what we need to do...
PROF HANI: So, how many of these sort of surgeries have you done?
DR VIVEK: None.
DR CHONG: Observed?
DR VIVEK: None.
THE PROF: ... IN MALAYSIA?
DR VIVEK: ... ... None?
THE PROF: HUH? NONE? In that case... the world?
DR VIVEK: Oh, quite a number in China lah.
THE PROF: Quite a number? What's the number? Don't tell me 3 or 4

GENERAL LAUGHTER AROUND THE ROOM. I mean, SERIOUSLY, we have some of UH's best doctors in the room laughing. It was hilarious. In the end...

THE PROF: OH, HEY, VIVEK - WHEN YOU'RE DONE WITH THE PROCEDURE, TAKE A PICTURE, YOU KNOW?
PROF HANI: YAH, YAH, SHOW US!
DR VIVEK: NO PROBLEM.

HAHAHAHA morbid doctors. Anyway, other cases reviewed in the meeting were stuff like sinovial sarcoma and orthosarcoma on the sacrum.

After the meeting, The Prof and I went for another professor's Inaugural Lecture in one of the LTs. Okaylah. I mean, it was an interesting topic (Relation between body and mind), but... okaylah. Hahaha. SAM totally teaches students to be effective presentation givers. After that, I went home.

OH, KACHE, I think I saw Prof Fatimah after the lecture. I mean, looked like Prof F, but I didn't see her tag, so anyway... SHE KNOWS YOU, NOT ME, SO WHATEVER.

IN CONCLUSION:
- Today was an interesting day, with the Radiology conference, Paed 4 and best of all, Onco meeting, and the lecture.
- There's no way a doctor's life really is this fun. But the Houseman I followed admitted that today was a slow day, and Paed 4 is sort of a cut and dry ward, not many complications, so pretty straightforward, despite the severity of the cases
- Lunch? What lunch?

TOMORROW:
- I'm supposed to go straight to The Prof's office tomorrow morning. Hope I don't get lost, hahahahaha.
- I don't know what's happening.

THURSDAY:
- THE PROF IS GOING TO HAVE A BONE MARROW HARVEST SESSION IN ONE OF THE THEATRES. SHE SAID SHE'LL BRING ME.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!

More tomorrow! :D